The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
