you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
