I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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