sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
