I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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