You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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