Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
