I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
