she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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