Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
