i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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