i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
FUCK WHALES
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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