walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
