ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
