New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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