I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize