I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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