Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My liver just broke up with me...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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