Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
