Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
