I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
