We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize