You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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