What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Welp...herpes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just found out that she named her cat after me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
