He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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