okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They took my balls.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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