dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
