What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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