end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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