Nicole vs. Life
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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