Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
