i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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