So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
