I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
