I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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