glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
