me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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