he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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