im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
