I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
