Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
