Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
