I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
