Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
