Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
