there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
