Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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