that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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