I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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