Your face is a jimmy john
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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