Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
