; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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