I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How drunk are you?
Completed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
