Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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