I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
