you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
