I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
