Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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