oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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