Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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