somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
