Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
