I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
