she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
